A Scratch Paper a Day

I learned many things today. Most especially since I have had so many trials the past few weeks. Today I cried my last tears about the agony I had for the last couple of weeks. Maybe things are not really what they seem but I did learn a lot. I am grateful that I did learn these lessons so I am not so innocent or ignorant anymore.

1. I learned to open my eyes to many things.
2. I learned to close my ears to things that I do not want/need to hear.
3. I learned to open my mind to possibilities or other truths.
4. I learned to keep my lips sealed.
5. I learned not to trust so easily.
6. I learned to not be too nice to people
7. I learned to give people a second chance.
8. I learned to forgive.
9. I learned to stand up for truth and justice.
10. I learned to accept that I am not perfect.
11. I learned to say NO.
12. I learned to just do what is right.

To all those who are reading this blog. I hope you learn something today.

I cried. I honestly did. Out of Frustration. Out of Anger. HOW DARE HE?! I really do not know what he has against me or the people I am with. The only thing I notice is that he hates people getting close. He hates seeing people smile and be friends. Because he has none.

I work with an Office Devil. No names. Just Devil. People in the office hate him. He creates intrigues, gossip and more. He is the evil little voice inside two of the lady higher ups. He’s the regular kiss-ass and everyone knows it. He thinks he is perfect. He thinks he’s the star. WHEN HE IS NOT.

He just battled the wrong person. He does not know what I am capable of. He just thought that since I am new and no one has challenged him yet, that no one ever will. He just thought wrong. Because I do not stand for the side of injustice. I never will. I never have.

I really think that he thinks that he can bring me down just by that. Maybe this is payback from the time I took him out of my friendslist. He’s no friend of mine.

I just realized that fighting him back the conventional way is NEVER going to work. He has bitten his teeth too deep into the company that he thinks he has everything twisted under his little finger. But, he is so wrong. HE IS JUST SO WRONG.

What he doesn’t know is that PRACTICALLY HALF THE STAFF OR MORE HATES HIM. He doesn’t know that I HATE HIM. He doesn’t know that I told one of the company directors about him. He doesn’t know that I catch him sleeping on the jobs , and that people want to write a grievance against him.

I don’t know what he’s up to. He thinks he could do anything and NOT get in trouble? WRONG. He’s just plain wrong. He needs to get in trouble. He needs Karma to SLAP HIM IN THE FACE with all the wrong doings he has done to people within the company, those who left because of him and those who is at the edge of killing him.

He could kiss up all he wants but he can never be in the IN CROWD. He could turn those beady little punk fucking eyes at us, but he could never whisper anything that we know is WRONG in the ears of the 2 Queens. I know I could defend myself and my friends.

INJUSTICE STOPS HERE.

Beware devil, your days are numbered

I don’t know, I just feel that someone is totally wanting to kick me off my post. Is it envy, jealousy or what have you, but I am sure it is something evil and totally sinister. I feel that there is a sinister plot against me. I feel that I have to watch my every move. Because theya re watching…

Who are they? The NETWORK. There are a few people in the office, I will NOT mention names except one of them resembles a bad version of pikachu, the other, the wicked witch of the west and the last resembles a really really bad white guy trying to be black,(Yup, I am going to be mean to them today) who are watching each and every move of the rest of the team. They think they are up and above all criticism. They think they are higher than everyone else. When they are nothing but people who create office gossip. They prawl, spy, eavesdrop, blatantly listen, kill for any bit of dirt on anyone they could get their hands on.

They live on it. Dwell on it. Feed on it. They could not live without it. In fact, they would probably die if they dont put down, insult or criticize or even gossip about a person in one day.

I hate them. I honestly do. I hate what they do. I really do not like the fact that they try to ruin everything. What do they care about other people’s lives anyway? What do they get out of it? They talk talk talk talk talk … and they can hurt people…

FUCK. now theyre on my case. First the pie, now the emails.. They can talk all they want. BUT they are the ones who really do not know what their doing, in fact mr. cool guy over there was supposed to be someone who would guide me and not put me down

Bitch. Yep,  I AM MAD.

They still do not know me.

They could not judge me

they do not know what I am capable of…

I could ruin them

but I choose not to

Let them talk…

Owwww… my freaking head… NOT!

If you think I will be manhandled by a hangover the size of Asia after the hard drinks I was pouring down my throat last night, you are wrong. I am up at 9 am in the morning, feeling tired, overslept and not one bit drunk.  It’s a Sunday morning. Even if I DID have a hangover it would be alright.

I started the party FRIDAY NIGHT at Caliente with Office Friends. Coincidentally, I met some of my EAC friends there. WOOT! Two birds in one stone. It was a blast. My main problem that night was nothing in the water-like drinks I had gave me that much needed buzz I needed to loose all my inhibitions and just scream out loud.

The party continued with my Cousins, who admittedly I didnt get to drink with for the past… years. In fact, it really was my first time with them. I watched people get plastered as I reached that perfect buzz. Not drunk at all. Just tipsy and I even got sobered after I helped one of them get to the couch.

I was bad too. >.> Did something I haven’t done in a long time. Nope, thats the last time. Never again. Bad Girl, Maia. Bad, bad girl.

Why didn’t I care last night?

• Maybe because I was too happy… or rather too sad…
• Maybe I was pissed off.
• Maybe I needed to blow off steam after a tiring week
• Maybe I just needed a break
• Maybe I needed to go out of control
• Maybe….

I did say a few things to certain people that I meant. I just chose to let go of everything.

It doesn’t really matter.  The weekend is over. Party Girl is done.

Love you kids… nurse those hangovers. Glad I dont have one!

Sunday Morning. All souls day. I really have to start installing my Adobe Photoshop. >.> I am just too lazy to get up and get the case. ( Yeah, Im hella lazy) But I deserve it. I worked extra hard this week. Even with the devil on the loose and sabotage,  I managed to get by my week. I even did OT a few hours this week. Yep, I deserve to be lazy.

While I am giving myself reason to be lazy, I am thinking one thing. Why do people try to control other people’s lives? Don’t they have their own life to control? It is irritating that even within relationships and friendships there are people who do that? Love is supposed to free us, not shackle us.

I have experienced being controlled and being free. I prefer the latter. No one gives anyone the right to tie a person down and give them their own personal barricade unless they want it. I dont want it. I really dont.

I have clamored for freedom all my life. I have rebelled, fought, been defeated, died for it. But even now that I have my freedom, I still feel shackled. What is freedom anyway?

I don’t know anymore. I just know that it is what I want and long for for a long time. The freedom to express who I really am inside. The freedom to choose what I want to do, who I want to be, who I want to love and how I want to live. Freedom I never had and never will….

I experienced the first Cadet Change ever today. Kinda sad, kinda not.  I got the same feeling that people get every semester when classes change and you dont get to see the same group of people in the same class. You know, that? Yeah… that feeling. Well, I got to be kind of friends with some of these cadets and know them well enough to kinda miss them.

The cadets are great help, especially when it is soooo busy and insane in the office. They make life easier for me and the rest of the staff. They work with us, get frustrated with us, get excited, laugh and sigh with us. They know the inner workings of the office because they are our hands, our extra set of brains, our feet and our friends. So truly it is no wonder that there are some of these 20 that we have gotten quite close to.

I know I will miss the fact that it is almost automatic that hot water for my tea sits on my desk precisely at 9 AM and 1PM as I want and request for it. My hot water always gets refilled until I tell them to stop. I do not have to get up to the xerox, and i automatically get my files fixed alphabetically when I need it. This is thanks to Richard Payawal, Noah, Corros and Amiel who stands just in front of me.  I will also miss the steady, effectiveness of Ostan who is there when I need him. He’’s just so reliable, he’s like amazing. Like Rexona, he won’t let you down.  I know I will also miss Corros’ antics,  Yhen’s sopas, Jay-R’s silent glances when I pass by and Baraoidan’s blank stare. (sometimes) ^_^ (joke) hehe.

There are quite a few there also who says they’ll miss me ( OWZ!) I dont believe them ( haha!) But, I know I will miss the funny antics, easy laugh of some of them. The shy smiles, the little quirks and the GOOD MORNING MAÁM! and other things.

A new batch will start working on monday and I will get to know them one by one soon. Three months later, we go through the same goodbyes with hopes that a little friendship and courage and strength with lessons have been learned.  I wonder how this batch of cadets will be? I think I will miss this last batch… because to me, they are the wonder cadets.

I am just looking forward to getting your allotments and helping you prepare to board the ships you long to board. ! . I look forward to seeing your careers take off. GOOD LUCK GUYS!! YOU HAVE DONE WELL..

Geared up and ready to go… I am totally resisting the urge to start writing NaNoWriMo. It’s tommorow isn’t it?  I cannot wait. Things are lined up for it. I have the plot - sinister it may be. I have the blog that it should be written on set up. And I am thinking of adding a subtitle to my title.

I was thinking OFFICE GOSSIP: Need to Know ONLY. Haha. It was inspired by the Live Journal Layout that I found to match my blog. I really am so inspired to write this that I think I will blow 50,000 words out of proportion. ( I hope) and I know I have time between stuff and at night to write this whole shindig so I am way too psyched.  I hope people like it too.

I am kinda iffy if I should let my office mates read it. (they would probably laugh out loud or kill me for it) but we will see as the story progresses if it is OFFICE SAFE. I have to write a lot of things that I probably could not say out loud in the office. Of course its pretty much fiction. So, hehee….

I am excited about tommorow night. Geared up for everything!  If I am up at the stroke of midnight tonight, after the Chatathon, I will start. *__* Thank Goodness I do not have work tommorow. ^_^

NaNo09… here I come!

Semagic 1.7.3.3U - marikit (insane_desire) @ livejournal.com*zoom in on my almost empty wallet*

Glad its pay day tommorow. I am glad that it is. I have to stop running around and making unnecessary purchases. I have to stick to a budget. Christmas is coming. Kids need presents. People need presents. Ouch. >.> I guess Tan Shoes and new bag will have to wait. TV Patrol says its about 58 days til Christmas. ( PEOPLE, I EXPECT PRESENTS!) Haha!

1. Tan Shoes
2. Japanese Classes
3. The Journal that will Change your life ( only PHP850.00 in Powerbooks)
4. A nice brown bag for work ( I just loooove my Nine West for black)
5. a new watch
6. a new MP4 player (ok i really want an Ipod nano but i want to save up for one)
7. Perfume
8. an Engraved professional Pen
9. Necklace/ pendant
10. Books ( Gone with the wind, twilight, eat, life love ,  sushi for beginners, etc)
11. Desk Stuff ( inbox. paper holders. stuff to fill and put on my desk)
12. one of those toy things that you put on your desk.. the mood thingies. ( I fail. I cant remember their name)
13. picture frames
14. a lamp ( for my room preferrably in yellow and sunflower)
15. CLOTHES
16. JEWELRY
17. SHOES
18. …. JPOP ALBUMS/ NEWS CONCERT GOODIES
19. BOOKS
20. …. A NEW PUPPY/ KITTY/ FERRET

Hahahahah! im so spoiled. But really. sometimes, i really just have to act like the spoiled brat that I am. I mean, there are things that I really want, there are things that I dont. But this list is my selfish list.  Ill make the real one next time. but for now, i do feel selfish!

This morning when I entered work, there was this HORRIBLE smell!  I swear! I totally covered my nose, and sprayed everywhere with cologne.  I found out through the utility guys that it was a DEAD RATunder Sir Boyet’s desk. It was disgusting and it filled the office with its deadness. So, I sprayed a lot with my candy cologne and hid in the locker room until it was gone.

Today was quite— well busy for a word — it was kind of intense. In the morning I fixed the schedule of Cielo Di Venecia and Spring Hawk with Kath. We also had to file payments with BIR, Pag-ibig and SSS. So that had to be done. Lots of Number Crunching and head wrecking was had. The seafarers were a steady stream of nonsense today. Allotments were crazy, loans were quite few but there was one trying to loan double the amount max.

Today I also had gifts, Kapeng Barako and Victoria’s Secret Cologne. This job gets a lot of perks in the gifts department…so its fun!! hehe. In the last weeks, I got chocolates, stockings, handkerchief, fruits… what else?

Im also catching up in the Office Gossip. I havent bonded with Rodney lately so I have to catch up on that. But I also, went with the girls at lunch today and gossip time has never been so good.  Office friendship has been fun. and I have been happy. at least.. I am now…

Life is good. Really good.

I just came from Macau - 3 straight days of Chinese people, a member of the Ya-yah sisterhood,  good food, great shops but not so good shopping and tired feet. It was all quite worth it. The trip started with being delayed ( *raises fists at PAL*) and well, boredom at the Airport. After horrible plane food and a jumpy landing, we arrived in Macau and went straight to the Hotel. We rested for a few moments and then went in search of a Macau local sim to call Ate Jed who works there.

The first stop in our Macau adventure was the Venetian. It is a replica (though moster-sized) of the Venetian in Las Vegas. It had everything from restaurants, throngs of people, super high class shops, posh hotel facilities, nice original label shops, and its own Gondola. We met ate Jed there and ate at the 3 Monkeys, after which we braved to walk around the Labyrinth that is the Venetian. We managed to tire ourselves silly before we decided that it was time to go to MGM and have a cup of coffee there before heading to the hotel for some well deserved sleep.

The Next day, we had the City Tour with Anita, the member of the Ya-yah sisterhood, since she ended most of her sentences with “Yah” or “ya-yah”. She took us on a bus ride and fun tour of Macau. We followed her orange heart marker around town, seeing all the pertinent city sites, shopping in an “Ukay-ukay” ( Ok, it wasnt really an ukay ukay but a store of factory overruns), the ruins of St. Paul, Ah-Mah Temple, Fisherman’s wharf and a bakery where we bought cookies and stuff. Of course we took a LOT of pictures.  (I will upload them and link them soon here)

That night, we met up with Ate Jed again and went to San Mah Lo, and shopped. SHOPPING was frustrating. There was nothing that I really wanted, barely anything worth investing in or that I could not find in the Philippines.  I mean, if you are a serious Bag collector you could buy a Louis Vuitton, fendi or milan bags there for about 5000-1000 MOP. Jewelry shopping there is okay and well, watch shopping would be excellent. But, I wanted clothes, and shoes. Something unique and fun, but all I found was a bag from Nine West and some shoes from shoesnet. UGH. My brother and sister didnt find anything. WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO HONG KONG TO SHOP.

we next went to hotel hop to find a bar, finally settling in on Lisboa after watching the AMAZING show in Wynn Hotel. The zodiac dome and the earth dome opened and well, just amazed us. The wynn’s water show was amazing as well. The whole experience was totally breathtaking. It inspired me for my novel. Throzara….

But, aside from that, it was a good trip. I reconnected with my brother and sister. I bonded with Eir, my bro’s girlfriend and my grandmother. I had fun. but my legs did not. Hehe. ^_^ I would take a week or maybe less to fully recover but it was so worth it.