A Scratch Paper a Day

I love sunflowers, because no matter what, they always find a way to face the sun. I love the bright yellow color ( It’s my favorite), because it always cheers me up.They say that sunflowers give gifts of radiant warmth, sunflowers are the happiest of flowers, and their meanings include loyalty and longevity. They are unique in their ability to provide energy in the form of nourishment and vibrance, an attribute which mirrors the sun and the energy provided by its heat and light.

Sunflowers are not only unique, but also a flower that is raw in its beauty. Though, I sunflowers are wild and totally unique, it has a calming ability in its pureness. It is a flower I would most love to be like. I would love to be as beautiful, unique, cheerful and happy as a sunflower. I would love to always be positive, always looking towards the sun. I would love to be a child of the light. I would like to be loud, yet people would love the loudness.

I love sunflowers. I want to be a sunflower.

I met JM today. After 8 or so years of being absent and avoiding meetings, I finally did. What pushed me to finally go out of my shell? Perhaps its the NEW YEAR, perhaps its the change that is going on with me. But yes, I came out and met him. I told him everything and it felt good.

I was so happy when I saw him. I was so happy when he welcomed me with open arms. I was so happy to see his child (I’m the ninang) and his beautiful wife Bev. I was also sooo happy to see him happy. I felt the Joy eminating from him. He looked good. His aura was awesome and I was so drawn in. Stella was so beautiful that I could not take my eyes off her.

I was a little envious of their Joy, but I know that one day, I will get my joy too. Maybe I found it… heheh.. but its too early to tell. I suddenly felt envious that I have no one to call my own and a child to nurture. But like JM said, I dont have to rush. I can take my time. It happens. Things come. I believe him.

He also told me that he was happy I am back home and that I grew up. I actually grew up and matured. We caught up and talked for five hours. It seemed that no time passed between us. I still felt the friendship - like High School and College. I was a fool to think I could deal with everything alone, when he was there just waiting.

I am grateful for a friend like him. I am grateful to GOD that he gave me back my best friend. I swear, I will never lose touch again. ^_^ he’s a blessing to me. he has been with me through it all… He has been there through each stupid thing i did. through everything– he accepted me and really was just a great listener. I know I could never find a friend like him. I am so happy I have him.

Bev is a lucky woman… She better take care of my best friend. She better take care of JM. He’s been my friend since 1992. I dont think I’ll find someone who would stick with me that long… aside from Jeane recto.. but shes a different story.. heehe….

JM is the guy I hit with rulers as a child, the one who saved me when my prom date went missing, the guy I cried to when I had boy trouble, the guy who talked sense into me, the guy I drank a pitcher of beer with, the guy who calls me into PEP’S For girl trouble talk, the guy who was just there to listen and be there to cheer me on. JM is awesome. And its a wonder I never fell for him — maybe because he’s just there to be my angel in disguise, a friend that i know would always be there.

God, thank you for JM. I am so happy I found him again. After 8 years, I found him again. I will not leave again — i swear to keep in touch.